The Emptyness of Loneliness

You hear loneliness talked about a lot on TV in relation to older people. So it was a surprise when I started suffering with it in quite a significant way. It started as a result of my marriage breakdown and has continued to the present day. But what is loneliness really like? It’s an aching…… Continue reading The Emptyness of Loneliness

How my marriage ending ruined my life

It’s been an age since I last posted on here. After my marriage ended I lost all my creativity and haven’t been in the mood to write. Wanting to write this is quite a surprise to me but I’m going to roll with it. My life has been on a downward trajectory since my marriage…… Continue reading How my marriage ending ruined my life


After fifteen years as a blogger, I’ve been beaten. I look at where I am right now and what I’m getting from blogging and what I answer is stress. So this will be my final post on here, I’m walking away and discovering life away from the world of blogs. Closing the book blog will…… Continue reading Consumed

Defeating or Defeatest

Last week was very emotional for me for reasons I’m actually not going to go into for a change. Let’s just say I was a drained and beaten emotionally at a few points and as a result of that on Saturday I woke up with a horrible depression gripping me. On Saturday I let it…… Continue reading Defeating or Defeatest

Brainy Books: I Want To Be Calm by Harriet Griffey @HardieGrant

This book was in the BuddyBox I received last month from Blurt and I thought it was only right to review it and see what it had to offer. Description With the stress and strains of modern life, it is increasingly difficult to be the peaceful and serene spirit that we all wish to be.…… Continue reading Brainy Books: I Want To Be Calm by Harriet Griffey @HardieGrant

Walking Out Of Darkness 2017

It’s just two weeks until I take part in this years Walking out of Darkness event. This year it is happening in Weston-super-Mare so will be a ten mile jaunt around the seaside. Walking out of Darkness is all about raising mental health awareness, set up originally around suicide awareness, it’s grown and now mental…… Continue reading Walking Out Of Darkness 2017

Sobriety Struggles

My sobriety is something I’m incredibly proud of, I don’t hide it and I’m not embarrassed to tell people the truth about why I don’t drink. I’m an alcoholic, I can’t, won’t, and don’t drink. It’s pretty simple. There are two things that make me wobble. One is Christmas, I am not a fan of…… Continue reading Sobriety Struggles

Boxed Up: BuddyBox @BlurtAlerts

Welcome to the second edition of Boxed Up! I’m very excited about this one, when Blurt first announced they were releasing a subscription box the mental health community buzzed and every single person I know who gets one loves it. Now that I have received one I can absolutely see why people can’t get enough…… Continue reading Boxed Up: BuddyBox @BlurtAlerts

Brainy Books: How to Build Confidence and Overcome Fear by Daniel Riding @danielriding

So I had to skip last month because things went a bit wrong with my chosen book, not great for my second installment of the feature. But I’m back with Brainy Books for August with a great book for you! Description Overcoming fear iѕ оnе of thе grеаtеѕt сhаllеngеѕ that уоu will fасе as you…… Continue reading Brainy Books: How to Build Confidence and Overcome Fear by Daniel Riding @danielriding

Manic Wednesday

I know the song is different but today is Wednesday, I feel manic, I’m barely holding myself together and I’m currently using every tool I have to keep my sanity in check.   I decided recently to prioritise my writing. I’m working on making sure my blog(s) are scaled back to free up time but…… Continue reading Manic Wednesday


When I really started to seriously work on my Bipolar and learning how to live with it a couple of years ago there were a lot of different aspects of myself I had to face up to. One of those was how I had a tendency to mouth off at people, and not only that…… Continue reading Motormouth

Achieving Goals

I wrote some time ago on my battles with food and how I got started on the road to become a healthier person. When I started this journey, I was completely sedentary, I was binge eating, I weighed 114kg and was a size 20 clothes. I was in the peak of my depression, my bipolar…… Continue reading Achieving Goals

Chester Bennington RIP – Notes on Suicide

I don’t tend to say much beyond a few words on social media when there is a celebrity death, even when it’s linked to mental health I tend to sit back and keep quiet letting the noise run through but something about the noise around Chester Bennington’s tragic death has moved me and I feel…… Continue reading Chester Bennington RIP – Notes on Suicide

Like, Really?

Let’s give you some background to this tangled web of a story!  November 2016, I went on a Peer Support Course, training in how to be a Peer Support Worker, there is no relevance in this other than someone came along who was setting up a new service for people who had been out of…… Continue reading Like, Really?

Boxed Up: Literary Vacation Club @literaryvacay

Welcome to the first edition of Boxed Up! I will be honest, when I came up with this concept I did thing nobody else would buy into it and the idea would fall flat on it’s face…you know how it is when anxiety gets a grip on an idea! Luckily I pursued it and one…… Continue reading Boxed Up: Literary Vacation Club @literaryvacay


While I was recently recovering from my surgery I decided I was ready to start working again, huge decision and one I have to be careful to step into without setting my wellbeing back. I decided to try my hand at some freelancing again, that would fit with the volunteer work I do well and…… Continue reading Hopeless?

Brainy Books: Boys Don’t Cry by Tim Grayburn @TimGrayburn @HodderBooks

Hi Guys, so I told you a little while back that these new features would be starting over here to spice things up a bit while I’m focusing on my book and it’s taken a bit of setting up but here is the first one, Yay! This is Brainy Books, each month I will highlight…… Continue reading Brainy Books: Boys Don’t Cry by Tim Grayburn @TimGrayburn @HodderBooks

New Regular Features

I’ve been a little neglectful of this little blog recently, there are a few reasons for it, one is that I’ve been really busy with my book blog which has taken off like a beautiful bird and I’ve been basically consumed with making sure that everything that needs to happen with it does. I’ve now…… Continue reading New Regular Features

Oh The Pain

I’m straying from my usual mental health ramblings with this post as I just wanted to get this off my chest. It’s quite a long story so I will start from the beginning. It’s a story I’ve avoided talking about publicly because some things I like to keep to myself believe it or not, but…… Continue reading Oh The Pain

Reblog: Let’s talk about Depression.

This post really got to me…I don’t reblog often but this post deserves to be shared and read. Please take five minutes and read this very raw and honest post.

Mental Health Awareness Week: Loving The Life Less Lived by Gail Marie Mitchell @GailMitchell42 #MHAW17

As you all probably know I also run a book blog, this week I was asked to join a book blog tour for mental health awareness week. I couldn’t do so without sharing the post here. The book Loving the Life Less Lived by Gail Marie Mitchell is a memoir / self-help book about depression…… Continue reading Mental Health Awareness Week: Loving The Life Less Lived by Gail Marie Mitchell @GailMitchell42 #MHAW17

Mental Health Awareness Week Surviving or Thriving

It’s Mental Health Awareness Week again, I always wonder during this week if all the talk about mental health is falling on deaf ears, some of us, many of us are talking about mental health all year round, we are trying to get others to do the same. Do awareness week’s raise awareness so that…… Continue reading Mental Health Awareness Week Surviving or Thriving

Suicidal Behaviour and Internet Usage

It has been quite some time now since Dr Jane Derges sat in my front room and asked me questions about my internet usage when I was feeling suicidal. It was a really interesting conversation and while Dr Derges had some very specific questions, unlike other studies I have taken part in it was a…… Continue reading Suicidal Behaviour and Internet Usage

New Publicity

Last year I wrote a piece for Rethink Mental Illness about how my relationship with Hubs had been bumpy thanks to my having bipolar, how I hadn’t been able to choose when to disclose it to him because on our second date I had a manic episode! This story has now been published on the…… Continue reading New Publicity

The Monster in my Mind

March 5th, one of those days I wish I could erase from the year completely, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try today makes me think of the man who has always been and always be a monster for me…my biological father. Today is his birthday which means I automatically remember…… Continue reading The Monster in my Mind

A World of Misinformation

So, there I was looking for travel insurance (check out my post from last year to delve into THAT minefield!), when I come across this site. What? “A condition formerly known as Depression” really? That’s how you’re going to sell insurance cover for bipolar disorder to people with bipolar disorder who know all about bipolar…… Continue reading A World of Misinformation

Guest Post: Claire’s Story Eating Disorder-Diabetes Mellitus Type 1

Today kicks off this year’s Eating Disorder’s Awareness Week, it seemed appropriate to have a guest post from someone living with an eating disorder so I welcome Claire to the blog. She is talking about her experiences of receiving treatment for anorexia when she also has type 1 diabetes, which complicates the treatment significantly. I…… Continue reading Guest Post: Claire’s Story Eating Disorder-Diabetes Mellitus Type 1

Guest Post: 5 Easy Yet Effective Ways to Calm Yourself Down When You’re Feeling Anxious

I’m really pleased to welcome Lystia from to the blog today. These guys offer some amazing meditation and yoga retreats all over the world and if there is one thing I’ve learned as someone who used to be incredibly resistant to meditation, it’s that we all need some quiet meditation time now and again…… Continue reading Guest Post: 5 Easy Yet Effective Ways to Calm Yourself Down When You’re Feeling Anxious


Trigger Warning: Mild Reference Self Harm When I started this year and decided to go for a more positive approach to things I didn’t forget that life throws crap at you and I didn’t forget that I have Bipolar which throws unpredictable mood swings at you. What I did forget is that everything can happen…… Continue reading Doh!

Catch 22

In December 2015 my referral to what is known as the Community Rehabilitation Team was finalised, I had been through an assessment and was accepted. At that point in time being referred into this team was an alternative to inpatient treatment and was my lifeline to the real world. The catch, because of its intensive…… Continue reading Catch 22

Positive Futures Today

I know I haven’t been around here much recently. I felt like I was on repeat, every post I tried to write sounded like a post I had already written and I didn’t want to regurgitate something that was already here, not for the sake of putting words on a blog. Things have changed a…… Continue reading Positive Futures Today

Freedom of Mind Conference – Part 2

A few days ago I wrote Part 1 of this summary, here is what happened in the final half of the Freedom of Mind Conference and my thoughts around it. The Keynote Speech from Rebecca Cross who is the Strategic Commissioning Manager for Children looked at how the Bristol CCG carried out inclusive research to…… Continue reading Freedom of Mind Conference – Part 2

Freedom of Mind Conference – Part 1

Monday saw the final event in the Freedom of Mind Festival calendar, a one day conference discussing young people’s mental health. This wasn’t necessarily about illness and the point at which young people need mental health services but mental health in general. Ensuring young people are mentally well so that less young people ultimately need…… Continue reading Freedom of Mind Conference – Part 1

A Plea For Help!

A short time ago I wrote a review of a festival I went to which was slanted by my mental health and how I dealt with going to a festival having had severe anxiety for a very long time on the run up to it. This review has now been shortlisted in a competition (yay!),…… Continue reading A Plea For Help!

Blog Break

I will be taking a break from the blog for a short time until the middle of next month. Don’t worry I will be back with more mental health talk very soon!

Walking Out Of Darkness – Bath to Bristol

Walking out of Darkness is a suicide awareness walk organised by CLASP Charity Saturday saw the first event outside of London which was great for us based in the south west as it was a walk from Bath to Bristol, right in my stomping ground.  The purpose of these walks is to raise awareness of suicide,…… Continue reading Walking Out Of Darkness – Bath to Bristol

Bus Drama & Petition

We went to a barbecue at the weekend and while we were there one of my friends mentioned that the buses which run to the local hospital were being axed as the council had pulled their funding. This is an old story and one that living here you get used to. We live in a…… Continue reading Bus Drama & Petition

Bloodstock Open Air – Slaying A Festival

A few months ago a friend suggested we go to Bloodstock, in a moment of “what the hell” I bought a ticket. A few years ago this would have been completely normal for me, I went to festivals all the time. But at the time of buying the ticket, I couldn’t even manage to walk…… Continue reading Bloodstock Open Air – Slaying A Festival


One of the things sure to send my mental health into overdrive is being judged. One of the things I’m judged on more than anything else is my decision not to have children. Everyone, no matter who they are feels they have a right to make a judgement on this piece of information. This isn’t…… Continue reading Judged

Stop. Take A Breath.

How often do you think about yourself? I mean properly think of yourself and put yourself first. One of the biggest problems in our modern world is that most of us are focused on external things and people. So much so that it is almost impossible for us to look internally and take time for…… Continue reading Stop. Take A Breath.

Facing Social Anxiety with Graded Exposure

As somebody with Bipolar, I have always suffered with Anxiety, it had always been at a manageable level where I could control the panic attacks and shield myself from the worst of it. But last year it escalated to the point where I found myself unable to leave my home, or to even pick up…… Continue reading Facing Social Anxiety with Graded Exposure

Guest Post: Chasing the Correct Diagnosis

Today I am honoured to welcome Aimee to BrizzleLass. Aimee has written a truly moving post on her battle to get the correct diagnosis, one she knows in her heart is correct, but she has really struggled to get the professionals to recognise. As a result she hasn’t received the correct treatment. I am sure…… Continue reading Guest Post: Chasing the Correct Diagnosis

Crashing Down

I’ve posted a few times about Mental Health Voices the Twitter account I set up to develop a peer based community for people to be able to openly talk about mental health. What I don’t talk about are the problems I have related to running the account but I feel now is a time to…… Continue reading Crashing Down

Broken, Beat and Scarred

About seven hours ago I woke up to the news Britain had voted to leave the EU, I didn’t stay up through the night to watch the results coming in, as I wanted to stick to my sleep routine, and I was concerned watching it could trigger some mental health issues. But as I woke…… Continue reading Broken, Beat and Scarred

Guest Post: Dissociative Identity Disorder

Today I have a guest blog from Sarah-Jayne about living with Dissociative Identity Disorder, this is a mental health condition we don’t hear an awful lot about and this post is quite eye opening in terms of what living with this condition can be like. Like most mental health diagnoses Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is…… Continue reading Guest Post: Dissociative Identity Disorder

Guest Post: Depression and Chronic Illness

I am so pleased to welcome Kaisha to BrizzleLass with her story of Chronic Illness and Depression. Many people don’t appreciate how having a chronic illness can have such an adverse affect on mental health or even the other way around. I thank Kaisha for her honesty in telling her story, and for sharing it…… Continue reading Guest Post: Depression and Chronic Illness

Mental Health Voices First Anniversary

A year ago Mental Health Voices on twitter went live. I honestly didn’t think it would take off, I thought it was one of those ideas that you have, the kind you think is a good idea but everyone else is going to laugh at. But here we are a year later and it’s still…… Continue reading Mental Health Voices First Anniversary

When Life Hands You Lemons…

I’ve been distant lately, life has been handing me lemons, and I’ve been hiding behind the lemon pile and keeping quiet. It began when just as I was expecting to hit the height of a manic episode, the ESA Capability to Work form fell on my doormat, completely unexpected given I am currently in the…… Continue reading When Life Hands You Lemons…

Mental Health Awareness Week … Be Aware Always

Mental Health Awareness Week is upon us again, it’s a week when mental health becomes the buzz word once again. But for those of us living with a mental illness, mental health isn’t a buzzword and every week is mental health awareness week.  People like me talk about our mental health daily, we share our…… Continue reading Mental Health Awareness Week … Be Aware Always

Guest Post: Anxiety, Where It Came From and How I Manage It

I wanted to introduce a series of posts where others talk about their experiences with mental health and how they have been affected, have overcome them, what tools they use. It’s an opportunity for us to explore a wider world of mental health issues than just those I have experience of, and the same issues…… Continue reading Guest Post: Anxiety, Where It Came From and How I Manage It

Struggling for Sanity

Almost five weeks ago now I noticed my mood was elevating. This was the first time ever that I caught the early signs of hypomania and it was because I have been mood monitoring and practicing mindfulness meaning that the early warning signs were more easy to notice than they ever have been before. I…… Continue reading Struggling for Sanity