Scars by Papa Roach
Last night I saw Papa Roach, again, this time they were playing in Bristol so I didn’t even have to go on a roadtrip to see them play! Hoorah! I have to send, another, HUGE thank you to my brothers girlfriend as she bought my ticket to go last night as she knew I really wanted to but couldn’t afford it!
It’s kind of funny that last time I saw them I thought that there’s would be the last gig I would see for 6 months because it was a week before we left for Greece. And then Papa Roach were my first gig since coming back…there has to be some irony there somewhere!
Things got rather exciting while we were queuing outside of the venue for the gig as while we were stood there we heard “me taking pictures of you taking pictures of me”. I looked up as Jacoby (lead singer of Papa Roach) walked right past me! At this point I resorted from being the 29 yr old music journalist (wannabe) to a 19yr old girl and started scrabbling for my phone knowing he’d have to come back down the queue which he did…and this is the resulting shot from my phone which was on the go slow (the one on the camera was even worse!)
As usual, when Papa Roach started singing Scars I was reduced to tears! The words resonate so much with me and everything I fight against each day, to the point where I have physical as well as emotional scars to remind me of the battle I’m in with myself to keep from getting too sick.
I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me,
that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel.
I’ve been very much on a downward spiral since we got back from Greece, (aside from Steve and my family) the only thing that’s kept me going is writing and music. Going to that gig last night was SO good for me, today is the first day I’ve felt even an inkling of positivity in such a long time. I imagine there are more hard days to come before I start feeling in control of myself again but I can’t describe what it’s like to feel like the future isn’t all bleakness!