Having a mood disorder makes life really interesting sometimes, being borderline bipolar means that sometimes I’m high as a kite and twice as excitable and other times I’m so depressed just getting out of bed is a huge huge effort, and one I sometimes can’t manage. The last month has been pretty much consumed by the latter for me.
My GP has put me back into the system and I’m waiting for an appointment with a new psychiatrist to try and get things back in control again, I imagine there will be medication changes, although unlike last time I hope I can avoid any nasty side effects. I remember last time one of the medications I was tried caused these horrendous bruises all over my body, looked like I’d been beaten up!
Despite how ill I have been I have stayed focussed on what’s important. I continued working through it, I took on lots of writing work from a few magazines and websites and I’ve tried not to let our financial problems consume me. It’s not been easy and I’ve had times where it’s all got too much, but I’ve kept going and managed to find something to keep me going.
The past two days have provided me with proof that the world is not against me, and that life may well be a bitch, but sometimes it’s absolutely amazing!
The first was a friend who restored my faith in the human condition. He was set to do my wedding music until I cancelled him because we couldn’t afford to pay what we had agreed. I know he has a regular gig on Saturday nights and didn’t want him to lose out. Despite that he called and told me he would do my wedding anyway. We have agreed if he gets offered a ‘proper’ gig paying good money he will take it and that I’ll give him what I can to at least cover his transport costs if nothing else. But it really restored my faith that sometimes people are genuine not because they have to be but because they want to be. He probably has no idea what it meant to me and I really can’t put it into words.
The second was opening my email this afternoon and finding out that I had won two tickets to Sonisphere Festival from Rock Sound magazine. I wanted to go to this festival so badly but it wasn’t even an option given our financial situation and the price of the tickets. Finding out I’ve won the tickets is absolutely amazing and means that not only do we get to go and see loads of brilliant bands but we get to really let our hair down for the weekend away from home, which we both REALLY need!
I am thinking maybe I should go do the lottery now though…..!!
Song of the Day: Almost Easy – Avenged Sevenfold