In recent months babies have started to feature as part of my life on much more of a regular basis. This is something I never really saw coming. I have always been extremely negative where talk of babies is concerned.
Not only do I have no interest in having children, but I don’t really have any interest in children, with the exception of a friends daughters in the States who I rarely see but love to death! I am regularly asked why I don’t want children or why I don’t like children and my answer is always “I don’t know”!
I’ve always been this way, my family will vouch for the temper tantrums at birthdays or Christmas if someone dared to buy me a doll, those poor dolls usually ended up headless or with my Sister who was happy to increase her doll collection! I’ve never felt a pang of maternal instinct on hearing a baby cry instead finding the sound annoying and intrusive.
I reached a point several years ago where I was so adamant that I didn’t want children that I stopped dating anyone who did eventually want them, deciding that it was pointless getting into a relationship which ultimately wasn’t going to work because of my refusal to have a baby. Luckily I met a man who feels the same as me and we now live in childless bliss together!
So why have babies suddenly become such a big part of my life all of a sudden? Well, there’s one of my closest friends who had her first about 6 weeks ago. Historically a friend has had a baby and I’ve backed off, I’ve found it really hard to sustain friendships with people when all they talk about is their baby (which I get, I’m not criticising, it’s just so far from my life and what I want I don’t know how to communicate with them), but this friend is different. We’ve been through so many ups and downs together it feels wrong to not be part of this next step in her life. So I did something I’ve not done before and I visited her and her newborn daughter! Culture shock!
I also have another close friend who is expecting her first and similarly I can’t imagine not having this friend in my life so I am adjusting my normal run and hide behaviour to ensure that I don’t lose that friendship.
The biggie though is that my Sister is expecting her first. I am so excited for her and overwhelmed at the idea I’m going to be an Auntie, all of my usual reactions have gone out the window. My Sister is an amazing person and as much as I’ve not wanted children she has wanted them! We are complete opposites in every single way, yet we’re so close it’s unreal! Seeing the joy knowing she’s going to be a Mum has brought my Sister is something money couldn’t buy and it’s hard not to get caught up in the buzz and excitement of it all. She’s had a bloody awful pregnancy but she’s still smiling and excited every minute and that to me is what being a parent should be about.
I can’t wait to meet my niece, and I think she may just soften me a little towards children but I guarantee it won’t be enough to make me want one of my own!
My Niece was born on 7th September 2011, a healthy baby girl named Jessica, I’m looking forward to meeting her and welcoming her to our family.