Once upon a time, I started a blog on the advice of a psychiatrist I was seeing who thought it would help me to not only write down my thoughts and feelings much like I always had I a journal, but to also get feedback on those musings from an online community of anonymous peers.
This blog became something of a lifeline for me for several years and got me through some tough times and in my wisdom I closed the blog, stopped writing and set about living my life.
As things do though this came back to haunt me as not only have my mental health issues crept up to become a permanent nightmare but I now have other health issues which have been undiagnosed for an age and have now got so bad I can barely function and have had to stop working.
Illness, it seems, has taken over my life. My career and business are on hold. I’m at war with my landlord, and I am claiming benefits which mortifies me daily.
The number of pills I take every day is shocking for a 34 year old. I take more than my 80-year-old Grandmother!
I try to be positive and look on the bright side, I have a supportive Husband who does anything and everything to help. But my health and in turn I, am single handedly ruining our lives and pushing us into a homeless position.
This blog is intended to be my new outlet. I was supposed to be getting support from the mental health services but, frankly they have been useless and I haven’t heard a squeak from them.
I need to know I am not alone, I need to know that this isn’t all in my head. I need to find the strength to keep going each day, because right now, giving up is the easiest option I have.