Desperately Seeking Sanity

“There is no comfort anywhere for anyone who dreads to go home.”
― Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little Town on the Prairie

I’ve been having a really tough few days which is why I haven’t been updating the blog for a few days. I’ve felt myself disappearing into a pit of complete despair and anger issues I’ve not had a problem with for years are coming to the surface again.

I was so bad last week I got a home visit from one of the psychiatric nurses assigned to support me. She talked through some of my issues at the moment. That I have a landlord (let’s call her Jezebel) who is using my illness against me (and she doesn’t even know about my mental health issues).

She has said because I am sick and having to temporarily claim sickness and housing benefit I am “no longer a professional person and she doesn’t want dossers in her house.” I’m not dealing with Jezebel directly, I honestly cannot handle this kind of attitude so my Husband and our housing advisor are doing this.

She has been breaking laws since we moved in, and we never did anything about it preferring to keep the peace but her attitude to my illness and needing a few extra weeks to make up the rent once, has really dragged me down.

Today after almost two months waiting I received my housing benefit payment so will be able to make up my rent shortfall and can pursue getting my deposit back so we can move out and into somewhere a little less like a Russian dictaorship. But the damage she has inflicted in the past few weeks has now been done, and this cannot be undone.

Her indirect threats have left me terrified to be in the house alone. Living with mental illness is bad enough and we live with enough fears that we can’t justify or quantify.

We don’t need our homes and our personalities threatened by the Jezebel’s of this world who think that because they own a house they own the right to make us targets of their abuse and power hungry threats.

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