“Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.”
― Leonardo da Vinci
Today was visit the psychiatrist day, my penultimate appointment with her as I start my CBT therapy next week so will be discharged from my psychiatrists care into my therapists. Darn NHS can’t give a moment of continuity.
One of the hardest things with being Bipolar is not learning to live with the illness it’s learning to deal with the fact that you get shoved from pillar to post under the NHS. There is absolutely no continuity of care and talking therapy is only given in short bouts. I will be getting it for the longest period the NHS allows, just twelve weeks, the normal period is six.
As someone in the UK with mental health problems your main goal is to be able to cope on your own. Nobody within the services will be with you long term to ensure you are being mindful of your meds, looking after yourself etc. that is down to you and your GP, and believe me, GP’s do nothing unless you push them. If I stopped requesting my prescription each week, they wouldn’t flag it and ask what was going on, I would just fall off the radar.
So, as of next week I will have twelve week to learn to fly. To embrace the CBT practices, to bury my anxiety and be reborn a confident butterfly.
I am not feeling all that confident right now, just a hell of a lot of pressure from the NHS to stop being a burden.