I’ve been a bit distant from the world lately. I’m wallowing, having been dealt a blow regarding the therapy I need but won’t be getting and spiralling into an even deeper depression I’ve also picked up the flu. Not the flu but it’s really a bad cold, this is proper, knocked for six, full body flu!
Just to top it off I’m having to deal with harassment from a gang of online bullies. Which brings me to the point of this post.
Online/Cyber Bullying isn’t just a child/teen issue.
I’m not the naming names type, I do wish I was because these people have quite frankly been making an already very difficult life even harder for me. But, I believe that naming them just makes me as bad as them so I’m not going to.
Their intended target is someone else and they go hell for leather at that person. People like me are convenient harassment fodder for them to make their point and hurl abuse.
The thing is, whatever their point was, it’s long ago lost drowned out by the mountains of harassment and bullying given out daily.
I question why people feel the need to want to stalk someone so badly, if you dislike someone that much walk away! Then there is the question of why they only seem to harass the friends of this person who are open about having mental illness, this isn’t just harassment but a hate crime under UK law as mental health falls under disabilities.
Last October I almost died after I tried to take my life having sustained 18 months of cyber-bullying by a relative.
I closed all of my online accounts, and the only reason it didn’t go legal was because I made an agreement I wouldn’t on the basis that person never contacted me again.
This all happened around the same time as the prison sentence for these crimes was extended so my words had weight.
I left the Internet for six months after that, all my old accounts were deleted permanently and I created fresh ones with my entire family blocked for protection when I returned in March this year.
The harassment this time towards myself isn’t as bad, but is far worse towards the main person. I’m also finding it extremely difficult to cope with given my current state of mind and how soon after last time it all is.
Having people harass and berate you for choosing to speak to someone is disgusting, sickening, and worst of all very scary.
I’m completely on the edge at the moment, my nerves are frazzled, my anxiety is sky-rocketing, my depression is determined to send me over the edge.
But, I will not let another cyber-bully put me in a hospital bed.
As I said in my Mental Health Voices post in August, I won’t let nameless, faceless, bullies, back me into a corner over something they say was done, especially when the whole situation is just a big blown up he said she said!
I judge people on personal merit, what have they done for/to me. I don’t (or at least try not to) bad mouth people to others if I don’t like them. Someone can do you wrong but be perfect elsewhere.
I’ve been wronged many times, but I always look for the positive in people. I risk getting burned because it beats living life all resentful distrustful.
If someone burns me, that’s my scar to bear.
And, I am not going to let people harassing me determine who I talk to. I’m 35 and capable of making certain judgements myself.
I’m so sick right now that I don’t need days like I had today, logging tweets, blocking accounts, contacting Twitter, contacting the police.
So to those people with such an excruciating bee in your bonnets…
You say you are fighting cyber-bullying, I say you have become the bullies. It’s all about the perspective from where you stand!
Whichever it is…go find something far more productive to do with all this time you are wasting.