I’ve been distant lately, life has been handing me lemons, and I’ve been hiding behind the lemon pile and keeping quiet.
It began when just as I was expecting to hit the height of a manic episode, the ESA Capability to Work form fell on my doormat, completely unexpected given I am currently in the Support Group and had been given no warning. The next day the PIP form fell in the same place, a year earlier than expected. I felt like I was being strangled from the inside out.
I had less than two weeks to complete both forms, had been given no warning they were coming, and my mood crashed into a panicked anxious depression. My care co-ordinator jumped in and visited me daily to help me complete the forms, she called the PIP office to get an extension to give her time to write a supporting letter, which was when she also found out they send the reassessment letters a year early (yes, they could have written that in the letter). ESA wouldn’t give an extension, but they have a section on the form for if the form is returned late so I wrote in there about how both forms were sent at the same time with less than two weeks to return both.
Whilst all of this is going on, Hubs has an accident and his second bike this year gets written off. He gets injured, tearing a ligament and twisting his knee, and is home from work for almost three weeks. Great for me as I’ve really needed the emotional support the past few weeks. Not great for him as he yet again doesn’t have transport again. He can’t get to work easily (buses here are a nightmare and shockingly expensive), he can’t get to the pharmacy for my prescriptions, to the shops for our groceries…being without a bike makes life really hard.
Honestly, he was lucky, he was on a dual carriageway during rush hour and could easily have been squished by a car in the accident. I keep trying to remind myself he got away very lucky. But I just worry about money, and how we are going to get by.
On Friday, his Dad became a Knight in Shining Armour. He bought him a 125 scooter. Nothing special but it’s transport. He wont’ have it for a few weeks, but it means he can get to work, and do the errands we were concerned about him being able to do without transport.
He’s still in a lot of pain, he went back to work yesterday but is still hobbling a bit. I’m feeling the pinch of loneliness kicking in and am dreading the benefit assessments but am trying to get back into the swing of things so getting back into blogging and social media again.
Next week Mental Health Voices is celebrating it’s one year anniversary so I’m going to take over the curating for the week. If there are topics you want me to cover while I’m curating let me know and I’ll try and make sure I cover them!
I have some great guest blogs lined up to go up here, they are in my inbox and I will get them on here shortly so do keep an eye out for those, they are really moving.