I know I haven’t been around here much recently. I felt like I was on repeat, every post I tried to write sounded like a post I had already written and I didn’t want to regurgitate something that was already here, not for the sake of putting words on a blog.
Things have changed a lot for me but at the same time they’ve not really changed at all, and I guess that’s what this post is about. Since I started taking Lithium back in July last year, I’ve been through a few changes. I had a few months of complete stability, the world was a wonderful, boring, normal, monotonous place. I woke up every day, got on with my really boring routine, went for a walk and was in awe of how perfect everything was. How could people not relish living a life where there brains weren’t attacking them every day? Honestly, for all of it’s normalcy it’s as close to bliss I’ve ever felt.
But of course with Bipolar nothing ever stays boring for long and since October I’ve been having mood swings again although thankfully slightly more reigned in than usual which everyone is assuming is still the Lithium at work. Although last week breaking into dance in the middle of a training class not my finest moment!
So the purpose of this post, I thought I would talk about my focus for the year, Positivity. I wanted to stop dwelling on negativity (something I’m great at). I wanted to ensure I put all my self care into practice every day, to continue with my book blogging which brings me so much joy and to really focus on what makes me happy. So instead of making a New Years resolution like to give up chocolate (which I don’t eat anyway btw) I thought lets go whole life, let’s think about the big picture here, so I went positivity.
So, I’ve ditched Facebook, that was the first to go. I deleted the apps from my iPad and phone. I’ve kept a link on the laptop direct to my blog page for my book blogging but I’m not looking at or engaging with my personal page. There is too much on there that quite frankly pisses me off. And judging from the number of people I’ve seen who have said they are having Facebook amnesty’s I’m not the only one!
I make sure I see family regularly, and spend loads of time with Hubs, he is my grounding and I love being around him.
Making sure I listen to music and go to gigs regularly, I have also bought tickets to Bloodstock Festival in August which I thoroughly enjoyed last year. Live music gives me a buzz I can’t explain, even when I’m suffering with high anxiety, I can cope with being in a crowd of people all there to see the same band.
To continue to read, to write, to game, to meditate, to walk, and to just do all the things that make me feel well and happy.
I’m also starting to volunteer for a mental health charity (hence the training last week), I will be doing a few different things, helping with the communications team (as that is what my professional experience is in), I’m going to be a peer support volunteer, and I will hopefully be helping with a walking group aswell. All of this should help with the positive focus.
I am sure sometimes, especially when the depression hits hard, I will feel like ramming my own positivity up my backside, but it’s worth a try right?
What are you striving for this year?