Consumed

After fifteen years as a blogger, I’ve been beaten.

I look at where I am right now and what I’m getting from blogging and what I answer is stress. So this will be my final post on here, I’m walking away and discovering life away from the world of blogs.

Closing the book blog will be a little more time consuming and complicated but that one will be going as well. My visitor numbers have fallen to almost non-existent on both blogs, even the features which used to be very popular are now barely scraping 50 visitors. It’s not worth the time and effort I put in.

I’ve been so stressed about both blogs recently, I tried revamping things on this blog with new features but they have fallen flat on their face. People just aren’t interested in anything I’ve got to say any more, and that’s cool. I have journals for my own private ranting.

I’ve been really struggling with depression this week, nothing I do is helping pull me out of it, and the blogs are really central to the way I’m feeling. They are pulling me into a dark pit of despair, worrying what I should be writing, why I should be writing it, why it’s not working like it used to.

I used to enjoy writing the blogs, but I don’t anymore, I stress about them and they get in the way of other writing and things I want to be doing that I do enjoy. Posts on the book blog take about two hours a time to put together all to flop each time. It’s heartbreaking.

I’ve decided that the best thing is to just pull the plug and give myself a fresh start with no blog in my life. I’ve not been blog free since 2002 so that will be a novelty. I have commitments until January with the book blog so it will take a while to ride that one out but once those are seen through I’m done.

To those I’ve spoken to regularly it’s been a pleasure. To the lurkers, thank you.

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21 thoughts on “Consumed

  1. I’m not gonna deny it’s sad that you’ve reached this point (I saw your tweet about this decision in the early hours) and I for one will miss the blog BUT I’m also fully understanding and respecting of how and why you’ve reached this decision. I’ve been in this precise same spot myself a few times in the past where blogging ended up feeling more like a chore as it induced stress and got in the way of my everyday life. So… yes… know very well why you’ve reached and taken this decision.

    I think with any creative pursuits, FUN is the number one requirement. I’ve found that out the hard way as too often, the fun vanished from projects I was involved with – I let them go on beyond that point and found it ended up being more damaging since if there’s no fun, there’s stress and misery… and we know how that messes us up.

    The main thing is as you’ve admitted, you do still have and keep your journal. I used to publish blogs containing my daily struggles and thoughts but constantly found myself having to censor them, mindful that I was exposing myself to whoever encountered or read my blog and I grew increasingly irritated and uncomfortable with it. So, I just write my journal and let it ALL out in there free of any restrictions. That way, I purge what I need to purge in my own time and space and am then free to get on with whatever I want to be doing!

    This blog I think has been a brave risky venture, opening up about your life and problems but there comes the day where enough has to be enough and get back to what you need to be doing and finding or indulging in things that make you happy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg! I totally get it but I will miss it! So sorry you’re having a hard time Claire but yeah when it’s causing you grief and stress, it’s time to let go. I hope you’ll stay in touch? On Twitter and Instagram maybe? All the best!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Of course I will stay in touch and still do the rounds of the blogs. I have tours booked in until January so things won’t wind down for a while, but I think knowing it will be is going to make a difference to me.

      Like

  3. Wow! Youโ€™ve been blogging a long time! Well done for the perseverance ๐Ÿ˜€ Iโ€™m reasonably new to blogging (been reviewing on Goodreads for years), so Iโ€™m not fed up of it yet, but I do understand the stress it can cause. Itโ€™s also VERY time consuming, and Iโ€™m sure there will come a time when I decide to live life more and spend less time stuck in front of a computer. I hope you find something wonderful to fill your blogging time and I hope it enriches your life. Good luck ๐Ÿ˜€ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorry that blogging isnโ€™t fun for you any more โ€“ but congratulations on the fifteen years doing it, that kinda blows my mind a bit. I hope stepping away helps you and you find yourself in a better place.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am so sorry that you’re not going to blog anymore. I do wish you would reconsider but understand totally if you have decided that’s the way you want to proceed now. I have always enjoyed reading all your posts and I miss you!!! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Jo. I have tours scheduled until January so I won’t be disappearing from the book blog before then. If I feel differently in January when things aren’t so crazy I may look at a different format but right now I’m aiming for closure.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Claire, I’ve been there, but honestly, I’m very interested in everything you have to say and don’t want you to leave. I understand how you feel though and totally respect your choice . I’ve had the same thoughts you have lately and totally get where you’re coming from. I question if it’s worth it often-time away from my kids, reading, and everything in between.

    I might just email you if you don’t mind. ๐Ÿ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I will miss your posts, Claire. I’m an occasional commenter, semi regular reader only because of issues in my own life not a lack of interest in what you post, quite the contrary.
    I can appreciate the need to step away from this if it’s only causing you stress. You can always blog again in the future if you should decide that you want to do so.
    Sending you very best wishes. Wishing you relief soon from the depression.
    Hope I’ll see you around on Twitter.
    Heart x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I will definitely be around on Twitter to say hi to, you are someone I know stops by regularly, so I will look out for you there. I’m not deleting the blog so if in the future I decide to resurrect things it will be here to do that with.

      Liked by 1 person

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