During the Summer of 2014 I embarked on a project to help a charity set up to help people just like me, sufferers of depression. The charity is The Blurt Foundation and their project was to bring together a group of people who’s lives had all been touched by depression the outcome being we would all tell some of our story for an e-book which they would sell to raise funds for the charity.
Everybody involved in this project was doing so on a voluntary basis, all of the writers wrote of their real experiences, there was a graphic designer who volunteered their time for the cover, and an editor who tried to ensure most of the typos were caught!
What is important though is that this book is for those people who want to feel they aren’t alone, who want to hear stories from people suffering from a number of mental health conditions which sees them also affected by depression. Most of the contributors weren’t writers (and yes in some places this shows) but what is important is that these stories are real and told in a very personal manner.
Most importantly 100% of the cost of “Blurt It Out: Living with and Surviving Depression” goes to The Blurt Foundation.
As I peered through the keyhole, I could see her cowering as he hit her, again and again. What had she done wrong? Had she been naughty? He was saying horrible things to her, shouting while she cried and begged for him to stop. She mentions me, he looks at the door, but then continues, he doesn’t know I can see, he doesn’t realise I can hear. He locked me in this room on purpose; he always does when he is angry with Mummy.
Welcome to my first memory, rather my first memories. When I think back to my early years, they are made up of memories like this. Multiple memories, almost identical to each other, being locked in a room while my alcoholic father beat my mother. It’s hardly any wonder that by the time I was nine I was diagnosed with clinical depression.
Like many others who grew up experiencing childhood abuse I am still suffering the effects of this well into my thirties. My latest psychiatrist recently explained the biochemistry of this to me. He explained how when we experience abuse as children we learn to deal with situations in a particular way, the neurons in our brain are chemically programmed to react in certain ways and so depression, bipolar disorder, behavioural disorders and so on can be born.
Why this has never been explained to me before I don’t know, it made perfect sense, so many of us suffering with depression experienced some kind of abuse as children and have formed ways of coping which many just don’t understand.
As this was explained to me I was drawn back to a quote from Shakespeare’s play The Merchant of Venice which I believe was edited from the bible.
“The Sins of the Father are to be laid upon the Children”
This was an extract from my contribution to the book. I hope you can see that this book contains some very soul searching moments which many people can share.
Please find it in your hearts to buy the book, read it with an open heart, leave a review anywhere and everywhere, and tell your friends. As I said, this isn’t about selling a book, but raising funds for an important, but small, charity.
Finally, thank you to my fellow contributors, my thoughts will always remain with you.
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