Last week was very emotional for me for reasons I’m actually not going to go into for a change. Let’s just say I was a drained and beaten emotionally at a few points and as a result of that on Saturday I woke up with a horrible depression gripping me. On Saturday I let it…… Continue reading Defeating or Defeatest
It’s Mental Health Awareness Week again, I always wonder during this week if all the talk about mental health is falling on deaf ears, some of us, many of us are talking about mental health all year round, we are trying to get others to do the same. Do awareness week’s raise awareness so that…… Continue reading Mental Health Awareness Week Surviving or Thriving
Last year I wrote a piece for Rethink Mental Illness about how my relationship with Hubs had been bumpy thanks to my having bipolar, how I hadn’t been able to choose when to disclose it to him because on our second date I had a manic episode! This story has now been published on the…… Continue reading New Publicity
So, there I was looking for travel insurance (check out my post from last year to delve into THAT minefield!), when I come across this site. What? “A condition formerly known as Depression” really? That’s how you’re going to sell insurance cover for bipolar disorder to people with bipolar disorder who know all about bipolar…… Continue reading A World of Misinformation
Trigger Warning: Mild Reference Self Harm When I started this year and decided to go for a more positive approach to things I didn’t forget that life throws crap at you and I didn’t forget that I have Bipolar which throws unpredictable mood swings at you. What I did forget is that everything can happen…… Continue reading Doh!
In December 2015 my referral to what is known as the Community Rehabilitation Team was finalised, I had been through an assessment and was accepted. At that point in time being referred into this team was an alternative to inpatient treatment and was my lifeline to the real world. The catch, because of its intensive…… Continue reading Catch 22
I know I haven’t been around here much recently. I felt like I was on repeat, every post I tried to write sounded like a post I had already written and I didn’t want to regurgitate something that was already here, not for the sake of putting words on a blog. Things have changed a…… Continue reading Positive Futures Today
A short time ago I wrote a review of a festival I went to which was slanted by my mental health and how I dealt with going to a festival having had severe anxiety for a very long time on the run up to it. This review has now been shortlisted in a competition (yay!),…… Continue reading A Plea For Help!
A few months ago a friend suggested we go to Bloodstock, in a moment of “what the hell” I bought a ticket. A few years ago this would have been completely normal for me, I went to festivals all the time. But at the time of buying the ticket, I couldn’t even manage to walk…… Continue reading Bloodstock Open Air – Slaying A Festival
How often do you think about yourself? I mean properly think of yourself and put yourself first. One of the biggest problems in our modern world is that most of us are focused on external things and people. So much so that it is almost impossible for us to look internally and take time for…… Continue reading Stop. Take A Breath.
As somebody with Bipolar, I have always suffered with Anxiety, it had always been at a manageable level where I could control the panic attacks and shield myself from the worst of it. But last year it escalated to the point where I found myself unable to leave my home, or to even pick up…… Continue reading Facing Social Anxiety with Graded Exposure
Today I am honoured to welcome Aimee to BrizzleLass. Aimee has written a truly moving post on her battle to get the correct diagnosis, one she knows in her heart is correct, but she has really struggled to get the professionals to recognise. As a result she hasn’t received the correct treatment. I am sure…… Continue reading Guest Post: Chasing the Correct Diagnosis
I’ve been distant lately, life has been handing me lemons, and I’ve been hiding behind the lemon pile and keeping quiet. It began when just as I was expecting to hit the height of a manic episode, the ESA Capability to Work form fell on my doormat, completely unexpected given I am currently in the…… Continue reading When Life Hands You Lemons…
Almost five weeks ago now I noticed my mood was elevating. This was the first time ever that I caught the early signs of hypomania and it was because I have been mood monitoring and practicing mindfulness meaning that the early warning signs were more easy to notice than they ever have been before. I…… Continue reading Struggling for Sanity
As I write I feel a long way from depression, in reality I’m one crisis. I’m currently on the verge of tipping into a full manic episode. If I do, then crisis point won’t be far and with it the fall into a deep dark depression. As someone with bipolar this is my reality, I’m,…… Continue reading Depression Awareness Week 2016 – Bipolar Depression
In the past couple of days there has been a social media uproar over Stephen Fry’s comments on American television surrounding abuse and rape victims and their “self pity”. In the interview where he stated: “There are many great plays which contain rapes, and the word rape now is even considered a rape.” “It’s a…… Continue reading The Stephen Fry Comments
Anybody who has been part of the mental health system for any period of time knows that diagnosis is a complicated and not always a permanent situation. I’ve blogged before about how despite recognising myself as Bipolar, because this is the diagnosis most often used by my various psychiatrists, I have been given other diagnosis…… Continue reading The Diagnosis of Psychiatric Conditions
N.B. This post is in no way belittling, dismissing, or ignoring eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. Please do not think I do not have love and sympathy for anybody suffering with these destructive diseases and know that I am very aware there is a severe lack of psychological support for them. This is merely…… Continue reading The Other Side of Food Struggles
This year, the theme of Children’s Mental Health Week, is “building resilience” and teaching children how to “bounce forward” from life’s challenges. https://youtu.be/21jqtJ-UB_w I was one of the lucky children who had access to mental health services. In 1989 at nine years old my Mum finally reached breaking point with my mental health, she knew…… Continue reading Children’s Mental Health Week 2016
There is much talk in the mental health community around recovery. People talk about their own recovery. Doctor’s talk about recovery. I don’t know about the rest of the U.K. but here in Bristol the primary care teams are even called Recovery. I’ve always had a problem with the word Recovery for several reasons. The main reason…… Continue reading Rehabilitation vs Recovery
TW: Brief mention of self harm and suicidal ideations. I don’t know how I am finding the words to write this at the moment, mental illness is destructive at times, a curse and right now I am living through one of those moments. Bipolar Disorder brings it’s sparks of creativity, it becomes so much a…… Continue reading Blog Action Day – Raise Your Voice for Mental Health
I’ve been a bit distant from the world lately. I’m wallowing, having been dealt a blow regarding the therapy I need but won’t be getting and spiralling into an even deeper depression I’ve also picked up the flu. Not the flu but it’s really a bad cold, this is proper, knocked for six, full body…… Continue reading Let’s Get A Few Things Clear…
Today is Bipolar Awareness Day, a day just for raising awareness of this pesky illness I spend a lot of time yapping about on this blog! This year Bipolar UK have asked people to submit their stories on the subject #BipolarAndMe. As I write this I’m conscious I’m in the depressive end of my cycle…… Continue reading Bipolar And Me for Bipolar Awareness Day 2015
I actually remember the very first time I turned to the Internet for information about my mental health. This may seem insignificant to many of my younger readers, but in 2001 there wasn’t very much information available. I found one site which had the information I was looking for, my GP had mentioned something in…… Continue reading Mental Health and Self Diagnosis
I realised today that it has been a while since I’ve written a mental health related post on here myself, I’ve posted a few from guests but I haven’t actually written any myself for a while. I find it hard to open up when I’m deep in depression, it’s easier to focus on the mundane,…… Continue reading The Crash Pad Moment
I’m writing this about 11pm on Friday night, for the second night in a row I cannot concentrate on my book (a really good book, I’d like to add). The problem I have is that right now I am full to the brim with self-doubt. This self-doubt started a little while back. I had applied…… Continue reading The Curse of Self-Doubt & Self-Loathing
I wrote this yesterday for the Mental Health Voices blog in honour of World Suicide Prevention Day and felt it appropriate I also share here…
There have been a number of posts written by people recently about diagnosis and how it does/doesn’t help with getting our minds settled or focused. One of the posts was actually by one of my guests on this blog! Diagnosis can be extremely helpful and can give you so much freedom in terms of research,…… Continue reading The Diagnosis Question Time
I spend a lot of time talking about how having bipolar affects my life in terms of depression and anxiety. I’ve talked about self harm, suicide, and various other things. I want to be sure I talk about other aspects of having bipolar aswell, some of it isn’t bad, and some of it, like today…… Continue reading Locked Inside My Head
Firstly, I’m going to say how much I hate the use of the word “goths” in this context, the people it refers to were apparently self-identifying so I will forgive it, but, there is a social stigma attached to calling anyone who wears anything alternative/black a goth, and there are so many sub-cultures people could…… Continue reading Are “Goths” more Depressed?
Thoughts on the latest benefits reform…what does targeting the poor really do for the government.
How do mental health and religion fit together. What doubts lie within religion and how do some people find comfort in something that relies on complete faith?
A post about finding positivity when you don’t really feel it.
How being articulate when you are a mental health patient can be a drawback.
Problems experienced with some GP’s and getting help for mental health issues.
An open letter to Bristol City Council about how they treat benefit claimants with mental health issues.
How a bit of gardening and a few flowers brightened my mood and my garden.
How do I cope with Social Anxiety when I have to deal with an airport to go on holiday, I discuss this here.
More than once I’ve found myself in a conversation where I have had to defend myself for currently not working. One of the biggest stigma’s associated with mental illness is that that if we aren’t well enough to work we should be hospitalised, or that somehow our illness should be visible. As it is Mental…… Continue reading Why I Can’t Work
When drinking becomes alcoholism.
A mental health update from Brizzle Lass.
How I dealt with feeling betrayed while dealing with post-overdose feelings.
Friendships, the types of friendships I have and how they can affect my mental health.
Why I’ve returned to blogging, an update on my recent crisis.
My push pull relationship between journaling and blogging.
My steps towards becoming anti-social-media
Inequality is something those of us with mental health conditions know a lot about.
I wanted to share this, getting a routine which works is something my Husband and I are working hard on. We are doing OK with the bed, pills, alarms side of things but I cope less well with the time when I am alone and trying to fill time when I am dealing with mood-swings,…… Continue reading Bipolar Babysitter
Suddenly, I could see the penny drop, and I suddenly realised why, even when I was OK, as in not depressed, I was never really OK. I’ve not been on the correct medications.
Being sick is hard, it is hard for anybody at any time regardless of who they are and what their circumstances. Having suffered with depression and later bipolar disorder being “sick” has been a part of my life since I can remember, albeit the kind of sick that many people frown on and question wanting physical proof of the illness.